彼岸の花をつかまえて

As I went out together with Youko-chan, or got called over to Orin-san's house, or spent time clearing away the summer homework I'd left undone, my summer break came to an end.

Though our uniforms have yet to change, daily life has gradually taken on an air of fall, and maybe in the whole prefecture, but surely in my town, the sky has grown empty and high.

A clear fall sky, with not a cloud in sight------

It's a phrase used to exemplify a pure, untainted heart, without worries or ills, but------

It is because of that emptiness, that I'm unable to do anything about this unease I feel...

...because that blowing wind makes me self-conscious... of an empty place that's opened up in my soul------

Ahh, that's it.

It's because I've lost something.

Someone dear to me is now gone------

------Who?

Well of course, that would be my mother and------

------and?

My mother and------

I'm brought back to myself at Youko-chan's voice.

Ever unchanging in my tendency to forget the events and sights around me when thinking, I fluster and bat away thoughts that go beyond absurd.

Just as Youko-chan says, ever since I went to Hemidzuka, something about me's been strange.

Though still, it's not that I've forgotten all of it. I remember what I remember, anyway.

The mansion inside of the Chinju Forest was the kind of place where I couldn't easily live, but then Sakuya-san came because of a coincidental work assignment, so I was able to get by for food, at least------

---and when I came to, I had been dozing in the back of Sakuya-san's car, on the road back to my apartment.

It really did hit me hard, I think.

It might be a light bruise compared to losing my memory of everything ten years ago, but still, it's opened a gaping hole in my chest------

Which is why, trying to fill it up, I'm searching the memories that lay strewn about the area that was unearthed.

I try to pick out the shape of a face I've forgotten, amongst the strangers passing by.

For example, that sibling-like couple that was passing by just now------

That boy who looks about the same age as us... has an air of nostalgia about him I can't quite place, but more than that...

That near elementary-aged girl by his side------

I remember!------ That girl is------!

While we continue this exchange, that tiny back is growing farther away. In my fretful rushing, I find myself stomping on my own feet.

It's such a remarkable change from my deplorably miserable self just before, that Youko-chan must be really confused, yet------

The clear sky of autumn, that seemed so empty a moment ago, is somehow given a wonderful beauty.

Filling my lungs with that crisp, clear air------

I run. I call out.